Friday, 21 November 2014

My thoughts on "Maybe Baby: How Much Does It Cost to Have a Kid"

Came across this article "Maybe Baby: How Much Does It Cost to Have a Kid?" written by Grace Tan.

Totally agree with the points she wrote! Sometimes I find it frustrating when discussing the baby topic with hubby. I feel that men just don't understand. Men just have to sacrifice are their sperms, and after the baby is born, help to take care of the baby, sacrifice some freedom, sleep, time and contribute to the cost of raising the kid.

But what women have to sacrifice are much much more than that.
The agony of carrying a ball at the tummy for 9 months, swollen legs and other symptoms resulting from hormonal change;
The excruciating pain during child birth which either cesarean or the natural way are both agonizing;
The unbearable one month confinement;
The flabby tummy after birth;
The trouble of breastfeeding; and
On top of the above, whatever men have to sacrifice in terms of freedom, sleep, time and money, women have to sacrifice the same thing too.

To be frank, I'm not at all ready to endure the pain and agony, and definitely don't want to sacrifice my freedom, sleep, time and money!

Another thing is the education system in Singapore. The syllabus is so difficult and the child has to stress about grades. Typical parents in Singapore are sending the kids to tuition, make up classes etc. Erm.. I thought kids are supposed to enjoy their childhood, instead of going for classes? It just sounds stressful even when it's just a kid.

I would like to emphasize on this point from the article:

"And my response to those who like to say “Oh, but a kid will bring you such joy, and complete your life, and the joys of motherhood are nothing like you have ever experienced”…
Answer me:
1) Do women usually look more tired or less tired after the birth of a child?
2) Do women generally have more or less confidence about their body and self-image before or after the birth of a child?
3) Do women tend to have more time for themselves before or after having a child?
4) Do women often experience more success at work before or after having a child?
5) Are stress levels higher before or after having a child?"
Also, to those who tell me who will take care of me in old age. Please la, having a child is also a 50% chance of whether they will take good care of you when you are old. The child might be good or bad, and gives you trouble instead. When the child has grown up, they will have their own life to lead and you can't possibly hope to cling onto them. I thought the most important thing is to have a life of your own and plan for your own retirement. 
I know there are family and people who will start pressurizing a couple to have kids after getting married. I would like to say on behalf of them, "It's my life. Let me decide how I wanna lead my life. If you are not the person who will be making all the sacrifices, please stop pressurizing."

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